Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Confessions of a Sober Cab - The Parental Version


Cousin Mark was getting married! Clearly that meant two things; his wonderful girlfriend would now be an official member of the family, and we were going to party! The hubby and I were in a pickle though, seeing as we both wanted to get a little pickled ourselves that evening. I knew that Andy would want to drink and celebrate with his cousin and I certainly didn’t want to ruin his fun by asking him to sober cab. Besides, I knew the only way I’d manage to get at least one dance out of the guy was to get him drunk enough to not notice he was dancing. I wanted to cut loose as well and enjoy my night drinking with my siblings in law. It’s not very often that we’re all in town together, much less for a party, and a wedding at that. Plus, craft beer loving Mark would be supplying the party with kegs galore of Schell’s Oktoberfest. I really enjoy their Oktoberfest and wanted to take full advantage of the bride and groom’s hospitality. We did have an option for a ride though… Ma and Pa Strom.
Our sober cabs for the evening. (Studio Veil photo booth)
 
Really, it was perfect. They were going the same place we were, at the same time! Those are of course, the most basic rules of carpooling. And since they planned on driving home we knew at least one of them would be sober. Which is the first rule of taking a sober cab – making sure your driver is actually sober. Besides, if your parents were like the majority of parents I knew growing up, they always stressed the same rule – don’t get in a car with someone who’s been drinking. Andy’s parents were no different. And just because we were now adults and could legally drink didn’t mean that they had stopped worrying. Sometimes I think they worry more especially because we can legally drink. So of course they weren’t going to tell us that they couldn’t give us a ride. Go back on what they’ve been preaching since we were sixteen? That’s something no parent ever really wants to do. Besides, Andy still mows their lawn and they really didn’t want to mess that up.

As a bonus, brother Bob and sis-in-law Nichole were rolling in from out of town and needed a ride too. It was a regular family reunion. As we piled six deep into the old minivan I got the distinct impression that Ma and Pa Strom were actually enjoying themselves. Ok, maybe not so much when we were hinting (and not so subtly) that we wanted to pregame the wedding at the bar near the church. The idea was shot down and instead we arrived early and found our seats with the rest of the Strom clan in the church. We were witness to a beautiful and touching wedding, complete with a family photo at the end. And then it was on to dinner, dancing, and a night of debauchery!
 
Photographic evidence of debauchery. (Studio Veil photo booth)
 It was the best of both worlds – a lovely family wedding and a night of beer drinking with the buds.  The beer was wonderful, as the Oktoberfest from Schell's always proves to be, and it was free and free flowing. The beer flowed so freely in fact that Mark’s loving cousins got together and rewrote the announcement on the marquee sign at the venue with a touching message for the loving couple. I did successfully get Andy drunk enough to dance with me for the last song of the evening and my mood got as ripped as my fishnets stockings did after a night of breaking it down on the dance floor.  The ‘rents drove us safely home and I could tell that they were touched by our drunken bonding in the back seats of their van. They had most of their clan safely in their care, giggling over a night of drunken escapades and fun. We took them at their word, to always let them know when we needed a safe ride home, and they in turn held up their end of the bargain. Who knew mom and dad would provide one of the best sober rides we’ve had in a while. Besides, they got to spend some time with the kids, even if we were a little extra bubbly, and what parent doesn’t like that?

This is what happens when you provide such good beer. (via Mark and Jess Strom)
 
So while you think your parents are the last people you'd like to get a sober ride from, remember that they really do want to see you just as safe now as they did when you were younger. And if you're going the same place already, why not take them up on a ride and carpool? Besides, you're a legal, drinking adult and they can't yell at you for drinking all the free beer you can hold! Consider your parents the next time you need a sober cab, and hey, if they need a ride, return the favor!

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